Your Toilet Paper is Lying to You

Picture this —

Man sitting on toilet
Why is the bathroom rug there? Why is he using a flip phone? Why am I writing this article in the first place?
picture of toilet paper
I looked up “ominous toilet paper” but nothing could top this.
picture of toilet paper laughing maniacally
Pretty happy with my font choice on this one.
a boy looking through toilet paper rolls
I would like to thank the human race for making this thing of beauty.
a diagram of a toilet paper roll
Look into the depths of the toilet paper, and you will see yourself as you truly are.
overall toilet paper equation
Please keep reading. I know you don’t want to, but please.
  • a = diameter of entire toilet paper
  • b = diameter of inner tube
  • y = 1/amount you are looking for left (so since we are looking for half of the toilet paper used, y is going to be 2)
diagram of toilet paper explaining equation variables
I used y as the variable because the letter itself is a question.
diameter to area equation
“Why not just use radius instead, so you don’t need to divide by two?” You try finding the center point of a toilet paper roll sometime and get back to me about that.
toilet paper area equation
This also is the equation for a donut.
half of toilet paper area equation
I feel like I’m insulting your intelligence with this equation explainer
finding halfway point equation
I feel like it’s Thanksgiving with all this Pi.
simplified finding halfway point equation to isolate the diameter variable
What an obnoxiously large root. What does this equation think it is, a turnip?
percentage equation
What a breath of fresh air
percentage and diameter length equation combined
Just remind yourself that letters can’t hurt you.
boy dressed as a toilet paper knight
Become the toilet paper knight!
visual of 63% on a toilet paper roll
Check out the code linked below, it comes with it’s own cool visualizations.
Toilet paper website screenshot
It’s not that I have a lot of free time, it’s just the little I have I use poorly.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Kyle Scheer

I like writing about things that interest me. I’m hoping some of it may be interesting to you as well. Keep up with me and my projects at